Funny story

[ellanoize]

That was a good'un Gus, Julie is still laughing [img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. ''Sleep now, its all right,'' he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, ''Honey, I really need to tell you something.'' Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. ''Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father.'' ''Don't worry about it,'' Jake said, ''I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?''

[gus danger]

tea hee!!! [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]biggrin.gif[/img]


While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

Gus

[ellanoize]

A young lady was sick and tired of all the blond jokes she was hearing. So she decided to do something about it: she would study one particular subject and became brilliant at it.
So she decided to memorize the state capitals.

At a cocktail party, she overheard another blond joke, and angrily declared that she was so smart that she could name any of the state capitals.

Challenging her, a male party-goer said, "OK, how about Mississippi?" With great pride she answered, "M".

[cherrysmum]

now that was a good answer LOL

[CthruMan]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[ellanoize]

Q What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A An animal that talks your head off!

Q What do you call a cow with no legs?
A Ground beef

Q What do you call a cow with no front legs.
A Lean beef!

Q What kind of martial arts do deer do?
A Buck Fawn Doe

Did you hear about the near sighted whale who fell in love with a submarine?
Every time the submarine shot off a torpedo he passed out cigars.

[ellanoize]

A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said with a wonderful and cheerful smile.

"Good Morning sir. What a wonderful morning I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."

"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."

The guest replied, "Oh? I don't understand -- that's what I got yesterday!"

[cherrysmum]

I've eaten there before LOL

[ellanoize]

True Stories From Tech Support...
_________________________________________

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."